You’ve Got To Run

Miracles come in interesting packages. I think many of us tend to think of miracles as only those instantaneous moments where a prayer is miraculously and instantly answered (in a positive way) but I’ve noticed in the scriptures that any time Jesus healed people, that healing involved some action on the part of the receiver. [John 5:8]

We never know when sickness will attack, and some diseases are very insidious in their onset, delivery and diagnosis. Several years ago I began to experience a myriad of life altering symptoms that refused to improve no matter what I tried. I tried all of the modern advice to tackle my problem including a complete food overhaul by going vegan for a time. Vegan eating does make one feel better, but for the chronically ill it’s not a good long-term answer – unless you have a lot of money and really, REALLY good teeth! After about eight years of trying horrible medications that made me even sicker I sat down in the ashes like Job and waited to die. I’d been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia – a disease that mimics most of the big, bad diseases out there without killing you – it only makes you feel like you are dead.

Of course, the one thing I did the most was pray, but my sickness got so bad all of life’s activities halted. Even the self-care of a shower was excruciatingly difficult. So, I went from being a dynamic and happy person to being practically an invalid. Every single activity I did was like trying to climb a mountain in a lead suit. Even walking across the floor felt like this – and I won’t go into the gory details of the horrors of Fibromyalgia/CFS, but I can tell you that it’s no party – and it’s a disease that no one understands unless they have it.

Chronic illness is nothing to laugh about, and over the course of several years I watched my life dissipate like a fierce wind on a dandelion seed-head. Throughout 2020 I watched most people go through what I had for several years: isolation, fear and extreme feelings of loss. These things are hard for a sick person to endure, but even harder for people who are healthy.

Sometime in November of 2020 I began to cry out to God as I hadn’t in years. Some of this intensive prayer came about as a result of a stolen election and the implications this meant for America; but what it ended up coming down to for me was the fact that the world needs to see Jesus, and the Church is too wrapped up in themselves and the world to pull people out of the darkness and into the light.

One morning after praying intensely I began to talk to God about the Fibromyalgia and asked him to help me get some function back. I hadn’t been able to participate in hardly any activities of life in so long, and I was tired of watching my husband struggle to do so much. I was tired of watching him work so hard, go to church alone and struggle to keep our home afloat while I languished.

“God, you said we would have life, and more abundantly. Help me to grab this principle and apply it to my life.“

After that prayer, the Holy Spirit said, “You have to run, Joy.” Mind you, I have different kinds of prayer I utilize in my walk with God, and these moments are what I call my “God conversations” because I talk to him all day in a more casual setting than my intense prayers. I often learn more in the quiet times when I shut up and listen, than from anything else.

I answered the Holy Spirit, “WHAT!? RUN??? I can barely walk!” But, the spirit repeated to me, “You have to run, Joy, you have to run!” So, of course I asked him how I could possibly run when I can barely walk.

I’ve always enjoyed music of various kinds, and I’ve found that sometimes a song comes out in the secular world that God uses for his own glory. That morning I tuned into YouTube and since I have an interest on there for American Indian music a song popped up for me to listen to. I immediately knew it was from God. The artist is known for being an activist for the native tribes in North America and across the world. The song she wrote for a movie about a young native’s struggles was called “You’ve Got To Run”, by Buffy Sainte-Marie. Buffy thinks she wrote this for a movie – HA! She wrote it for me!

As I played that song the Holy Spirit began to move on me in a way I hadn’t felt for YEARS. God gently began to nurture me and he told me to seek first the Kingdom of God. [Matthew 6:33] I knew in my spirit that I should start by going back to church. It was not easy. The first few times were especially difficult, but every time I felt (feel) so bad it might keep me home I hear the Holy Spirit whisper in my ear, “Joy, you’ve got to run!” Quite often the song comes into my head the moment I awaken on Sunday mornings and I open my eyes and put on my running shoes.

What has happened to me as a result of this is nothing short of super-miraculous. Just five months ago I could barely take a shower, this past week I started doing spring cleaning in our home. I no longer miss church, because I’m there every Sunday! And every single day I feel an infusion of his love, compassion and healing power. No, not every day is perfect, and it’s easy to overdo it (especially for me, because as my sweet mother always pointed out – I overdo everything) – yet even when I do too much like I did last week, I was still able to attend church and after a full day of rest my strength is returning.

So, if you have a mountain you cannot climb, an enemy who is bigger than Goliath or a problem that seems impossible, just remember this – RUN TO THE CROSS.

Less Of Me

This is who we all are without Christ in our lives.

II Corinthians 5:17

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

I came to know the Lord at a very young age. Having him as a part of my life was as natural as breathing. I didn’t have to think to pray, I felt in a constant communion with God that is enviable to most people who follow him. I had that wonderful walk with God until at the tender age of 8 my friend and I were attacked by another child sexually in the basement of MY home and life was never the same for me again. I had NO idea how pivotal that moment was until many years later.

I was born in what I sometimes personally define as the “I’ve Got To Be Me” generation. I define this particular group by persons born between the years of 1955 to 1965. We were greatly influenced by the newest technology of television, and highly susceptible to suggestion because of this. We have to remember that what goes into our eyes, we are also ‘eating’.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” Matthew 6:22-23 (ESV)

The world’s message to young people in my age group was this: “Be yourself, you can do anything!” And on a glance without deep thought on the matter this seems like an innocent enough banner worth flying; yet the problem with this entire ideology is that it is in direct opposition to God and his commandments. Humans without God are nothing but walking dirt. Plus, we can do nothing without God. We can apply ourselves to endless endeavors in life, but all point to the grave – thus, we should be working for our Eternal Retirement Plan during our time on earth and not the IRA we so feverishly check every day.

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. 1 John 2:16 (ESV)

I know, this sounds so harsh, but there it is and I refuse to apologize for typing that out. We are no good without Christ. I’m a walking testament to this truth. I was a girl who at one pivotal moment in time decided that I would put God on the shelf and find myself. So, I went on a long and painful journey that feels closely akin to what the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-31 went on. I can thankfully state that I am back home with my Father now, where I belong; however, I will carry the scars of those years with me until the day I leave this world.

The message the world is putting out there is the same as the lie told to the “I’ve Got To Be Me” generation, but has now been amped up further to include being what you’re not. If you’re a boy, you can be a girl, and if you’re a girl you can be a boy. And there appears to be no end to the extremes the world is taking in order to thumb their nose at God, nor the vile sins they will redeem and glorify as ‘normal’.

As a girl growing up in the times that I did, I also had to grapple with The Women’s Liberation Movement and the folly associated with it. I’ll expound more on that in another blog.

If you ever have any doubts about the base nature of man just sit down with the nicest person you can think of and get them drunk – really drunk, then make sure you stay sober so you can appropriate what you will see. What you will see will shock you, appall you and make you a sudden believer in my statement about man without God being nothing but walking, talking dirt.

I’ve seen people at their very best and very worst. The best in them comes from God and his beautiful nature. The worst were being themselves.

My prayer is “Dear Jesus, please take my stony heart and replace it with a heart like yours. Please take me out of the equation and so I am more of you in this dark, dark world.”